At its core, CBT focuses on your thought patterns (i.e., cognitions) and promotes patterns of behavior that can help to free you from anxiety and low mood. There are a number of cognitive and behavioral strategies that a CBT practitioner might draw upon.

Cognitive CBT Techniques

A central premise of CBT is that negative thoughts contribute to mental health problems and that we have some degree of control over how we respond to these thoughts. In CBT clients learn how to identify automatic negative thoughts, which often slip past conscious awareness, and how to develop more helpful responses.  

Behavioral CBT Strategies

There are also several behavioral CBT techniques and strategies that a CBT specialist might employ. These include:

1. Behavioral Activation: Focusing on increasing the frequency of pleasant and rewarding activities

2. Exposure: Identifying emotional triggers and gradually exposing oneself to these triggers to take away their emotional power

3. Behavioral Analysis: Examining problematic behaviors and identifying triggers and consequences of these behavior, which culminates in a behavioral plan designed to extinguish problematic behaviors. 

Adult CBT Coaching Services in Nashville Area
If you think CBT techniques and strategies might be a good fit for you, consider reaching out for in-person adult CBT coaching services in the Nashville area (or virtually worldwide). As a cognitive-behavioral therapy specialist in the Nashville area, Dr. Jason Holland draws upon a range of CBT techniques and strategies when offering adult CBT coaching services. Complete a Contact Us form to schedule an appointment or a free 15 minute consultation to learn more about what CBT is and if it might be right for you.

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Meta-cognitions are thoughts about our own pattern of thinking. Studies have shown that dysfunctional meta-cognitions (e.g., I can’t ignore my anxious thoughts) are associated with a number of negative outcomes, including poor concentration and less emotional wellbeing. And CBT-based therapies that target these metacognitions have been found to be superior to those that focus solely on challenging the content of specific thoughts (e.g., scrutinizing a pervasive negative belief like ‘I’m no good’).

Here are 5 different types of unhelpful meta-cognitions that I encounter routinely in my work as a virtual CBT personal coach in Gallatin, TN:

1. Beliefs that thoughts are uncontrollable and dangerous. Examples: I can’t ignore my worried thoughts; Worrying could make me go crazy. 

2. Positive beliefs about worry. Examples: Worrying is a helpful coping strategy; I need to worry to perform at my best. 

3. Lack of confidence in one’s thinking. Examples: My memory can mislead me; I can’t trust that I’ll remember what I’m supposed to do. 

4. Self-consciousness about thinking. Examples: I have to constantly examine my thoughts; It’s important to always monitor my thinking.

5. Need to control thoughts. Examples: I’ll pay later for not controlling certain thoughts;  It’s bad to have certain thoughts.

So, what can you do if you notice yourself having a lot of these kinds of thoughts about your thinking? Instead of focusing on all the negative and anxious thoughts you’re having, which in some ways can serve to make them more important in your life, metacognitive therapy is a form of CBT that takes a step back and works on creating some distance between you and your thinking. 

From this perspective, problems arise when people become too fused with their ruminations. Worried thoughts become like a sticky film that wrap themselves around our personal identity. We become the thoughts.  

In reality, however, our identity encompasses far more than the scripts that run through our head, which are often a byproduct of our personal histories (e.g., messages repeated throughout childhood) and evolutionary past (e.g., the pull of the brain to hone in on perceived threats). And we have the power to shift our focus and detach from the tired scripts that play in our head. 

Developing Meta-Cognitive Awareness

Metacognitive awareness means being more attuned to the way you’re thinking. It involves cultivating a healthy skepticism for beliefs that maintain worry (e.g., worrying protects me from danger) and developing an ability to mindfully watch your thoughts without completely attaching yourself to them.

Virtual CBT Personal Coaching
If you’re feeling stressed and anxious and have unhelpful meta-cognitions that have taken over your life, consider working with a CBT psychologist or personal coach trained in CBT.  As a clinical psychologist with extensive training in CBT, I offer in-person CBT personal coaching to individuals in the Gallatin, TN area as well as virtual CBT personal coaching to clients worldwide. Complete a Contact Us form to get the conversation started.

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CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and the “cognitive” component focuses on finding new ways to relate to your negative thoughts. We have limited control of the thoughts that pop into our mind, but when we notice an automatic negative thought, we do have control over how we choose to respond to it. Here are four common automatic negative thought patterns and the antidote to each: 

1. Doomsday Thinking

Doomsday thinking occurs when you convince yourself that the future looks hopeless and bad outcomes are inevitable. This type of thinking is also referred to as ‘catastrophizing’ and involves thoughts like, “This bad day is going to last forever” or “I’m just waiting for the hammer to drop.”

Antidote: Instead of taking it for granted that your negative predictions are true, take the time to consider the actual evidence for and against them, as though you’re a dispassionate detective who only cares about the facts. 

For example, if you feel like things will never get better, think back to other hard times you’ve faced in your life and consider how you handled it over time—weeks, months, and years later. You may recall a number of difficult moments in your life and how much you had to struggle, perhaps fueling doubts about your ability to cope with the current circumstances. 

However, there are also likely times in your past when gloomy predictions about the future didn’t entirely come to pass. Maybe you were able to find creative ways to mitigate the damage. 

Weighing all the evidence together, ask yourself how likely it now seems that things will never get better? Even a slight modification in your perspective (e.g., Things won’t get better for a long time) can equal big changes for your mood and outlook on life. 

2. Tyranny of the Shoulds 

This type of thinking refers to the rules you have about the way things should be. These rules are often unrealistic expectations that result in strong feelings of guilt or anxiety when not met. For example, a perfectionist might believe that “I should outperform all of my coworkers.”

Antidote: Start by using less extreme language. Instead of telling yourself “I shouldn’t have made that mistake” you could tell yourself, “I wish I hadn’t made that mistake, and I’ll learn from it.” Such linguistic shifts, though subtle, reflect far greater self-compassion—a key ingredient for managing stress.  

It can also be helpful to list the pros and cons of focusing so much on negative self-comparisons and ‘should talk.’ There might be legitimate reasons why you believe these thoughts are a positive presence in your life, perhaps because they motivate you or help you find ways to improve yourself. But they undoubtedly come at a cost to your self-esteem, and in the end often backfire, leading to burnout and feelings of hopelessness. 

3. Emotional Thinking

Emotional thinking involves using your feelings as the basis for the facts about a situation. For instance, after a job interview you might reason that, “I felt so awkward, everything must have gone horribly.”

Antidote: Try consulting with other people that you trust. Ask them questions and gather information to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. In this case, you might learn that it’s not an uncommon experience to feel like you totally blew an interview, and in some cases, people still get the job! 

4. Over-Personalizing

Over-personalization refers to a tendency to interpret situations in such a way that you believe others have negative opinions or bad intentions toward you. 

For me personally, I used to get thrown off during presentations when audience members would walk out right in the middle of my talk. I’d convince myself, “They must be totally bored and hate everything I’m saying.” 

Antidote: Instead of immediately assuming that everything is about you and blaming yourself for everything, consider the other factors that likely contributed to it. 

In my case, it was helpful to consider that someone might leave a talk for hundreds of reasons. Maybe they needed to return a phone call or go to the bathroom? Perhaps they left because they couldn’t tolerate sitting in the hard chairs anymore? Or they could have been starving from skipping lunch?

Regardless of the reason, I learned that the comings and goings of audience members is probably a poor indicator of my performance. So, I might as well just focus on doing the best job I can. 

CBT Psychologist for Stress Management in Gallatin, TN & Virtually
If you’re struggling with automatic negative thoughts and are having trouble managing stress on your own, consider consulting with Dr. Jason Holland, a CBT psychologist in Gallatin, TN who offers wellness coaching and CBT for stress management. Dr. Holland can help you identify and neutralize automatic negative thought patterns that are holding you back. Reach out today by completing the Contact Us form on the website to get the conversation started.  

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1. Give yourself space to grieve.

Just because it was a choice, doesn’t make a divorce or break-up any less of a loss.

These days psychologists tend to think about loss a little differently than they did, say 40 years ago, when Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s stages of loss (i.e., moving from denial, anger, bargaining, and depression to acceptance) dominated much of the conversation on the topic.

Today, loss is more often viewed as an ever-changing process that involves bouncing back-and-forth between two competing needs to: (a) Attend to the loss itself, perhaps by feeling and processing feelings related to it or trying to make sense of what happened, and (b) Build a renewed life, perhaps by investing in other relationships, interests, or pursuits that feel meaningful and important.

The basic idea is that neither of these “modes” is inherently good or bad, or better than the other. Rather, problems arise when we spend all of our time in one at the exclusion of the other.

In other words, it might be counterproductive to spend all day hugging the tissue box and stalking your ex on social media. However, it can be equally destructive to devote a lot of mental energy trying to avoid thoughts and feelings related to the breakup.  

So, what’s the takeaway? Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you’re honestly feeling after a breakup. Feelings are not your enemy. It’s how you relate to them that matters—more on that next.  

2. Give yourself space to grow.

Just as it is important to give yourself space to grieve; it is also important to give yourself space to grow.

Though it may be hard to imagine at first, people who have gone through a major breakup often say that they’ve grown because of it. Some may have learned to be a better partner, express their needs more clearly, or clarify what they’re really looking for in a relationship.

It takes time to come to these personal revelations and there’s certainly no need to rush. However, taking time to slowly listen and learn from your feelings and reflections about the relationship can be useful.

We don’t typically think of it this way in everyday life; however, emotions may be viewed as messages sent from the self, addressed to the self, about the self. As a life transition coach, I often encourage clients to sit with their feelings for little while, guided by the belief that feelings (even difficult ones) about a broken relationship may have something to teach us.   

When you are ready, find time to allow such emotions to simply exist without recoiling from them or trying to immediately change them.

Ask yourself, what is it exactly that I am feeling right now? Is it hurt or shame over the past, or maybe worry about the future? And what would it take right now to reassure or soothe myself in this state? How might I do that for myself? What do these feelings have to say about what is most important for me to look for in a future partner (when ready)?

The answers to such questions may provide hints for areas of self-learning and growth.

3. Stay active and reward yourself.

If after a breakup it’s “your thing” to put on your pajamas and binge watch all of your favorite television shows, go for it! Do that for a few days if you need to. But try not to dwell there too long.

Too often we think about these things as occurring in only one direction. The reasoning often goes: I’m sitting around in my PJs all day because I feel so bad.   

However, it works the other way around too, more often than you might think. Reversing the logic from before, we might then say: I feel so bad because I’m sitting around in my PJs all day.

The idea here is that if your day-to-day life is filled with marathon couch-surfing sessions, then there’s probably little opportunity for you to have new experiences that could (at least temporarily) help to snap you out of a mental funk.

As a life transition coach, I often encourage clients to make a list of 10 activities that nourish them. It could be something that gives them a sense of: (a) empowerment (e.g., going to kickboxing class), (b) meaning (e.g., reading an inspirational book), (c) pleasure (e.g., enjoying your favorite meal), (d) relaxation (e.g., going for a walk), or (e) gratitude (e.g., prayer or meditation).

Try it yourself. For two weeks, make an intentional effort to do two activities on the list each day. It can’t happen by accident, though. It needs to be done with the specific purpose of carving out space to do something good for you.

If you’re “really busy” right now, that’s okay. These activities can take as little as 30 seconds (e.g., looking out the window and appreciating the view), if that’s all your busy life can allow.

The most important thing is that you are doing these activities with the specific intention of taking care of yourself.       

4. Invest in Relationships.

As a life transition coach, after a divorce or break-up, I avoid making any hard and fast rules about the “right” amount of time to take before getting involved romantically with someone else.

Some may feel perfectly comfortable getting back on the dating scene right away; whereas, others may need more time. Trust your instincts on what feels best for you.

However, just because you are taking some time before dating, doesn’t mean that you need to isolate yourself.

Relationships are powerful. Surround yourself with supportive people. Their validation and encouragement may be the best medicine for heartache.

Even if you don’t feel like talking about your ex, simply doing things you enjoy with other people can provide a much needed sense of connection after a breakup.

Virtual Life Transition Coaching Services After Divorce:

Balance is the key. Give yourself time and space to grieve the loss of the relationship and consider what might be learned from the experience, even if it was a bad one. But don’t spend all of your time in the past. Make sure you are also engaged in meaningful activity and investing in the relationships that matter most to you.

And if the journey feels overwhelming, life transition coaching after divorce can be a lifeline. Dr. Jason Holland offers specialized life coaching after divorce, both online through his virtual life coaching services and in-person in Gallatin, TN. Embrace the chance for a new chapter, and remember, every ending heralds a new beginning. Your future awaits.

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Understanding Life Transitions

Life transitions often disrupt relationships, routines, and plans, leading to secondary losses like the loss of income or social support. Emotions such as grief, confusion, and worry can become overwhelming. Individuals may face difficulties finding meaning in their new life, intensifying emotional turmoil. Understanding and acknowledging these feelings is a crucial step in the journey and one where life transition coaching can play a significant role.

What is Life Transition Coaching?

In life transition coaching, the focus is not just on the problems or emotional turmoil you’re facing but also on the possibilities and paths forward. The process is collaborative, with your coach working alongside you to explore your emotions, identify obstacles, and formulate strategies to overcome them. The ultimate aim? To help you emerge from the transition not just intact but empowered and ready for the next chapter in your life journey.

You may be wondering how life transition coaching stands apart from traditional therapy. One crucial difference is the degree of expertise in the area of grief and loss. Most generalist practitioners have limited specialized training in grief, loss, and life transitions, which highlights the importance of seeking support from a seasoned coach like Dr. Holland, who possesses extensive experience and training in this domain.

Benefits of Life Transition Coaching

The potential benefits of life transition coaching are countless and include:

A. Personalized Support

Life transition coaching begins with understanding your unique challenges and pain points. It involves developing a tailored coaching plan to address your immediate needs, offering emotional support after loss and during transitions.

B. Gaining Perspective

Feeling like you’re ‘going crazy’ is common after a major life upheaval. One vital aspect of life transition coaching is to normalize these intense feelings, helping you gain clarity and perspective in the midst of confusion.

C. Developing Coping Strategies

Grief and loss coaching involve helping you learn healthy coping strategies and resilience-building. In keeping with the Dual Process Model of Coping with Loss, life transition coaching with Dr. Holland focuses on learning to flexibly oscillate between tasks of grieving (e.g., processing the loss, attending to feelings) and restoration-oriented tasks, focused on moving forward.

D. Making Sense of Difficult Experiences

Loss and unwelcomed change often leave us struggling to make sense of what happened, as these kinds of transitions can often seem senseless or incomprehensible. A grief and loss coach can be your partner in this process and work with you to find new ways of understanding what has happened.   

E. Setting and Achieving Goals

Dr. Holland assists in setting realistic goals and formulating plans to achieve them, providing you with the necessary tools and support to take meaningful steps forward.

F. Overcoming Obstacles

Life transition coaching helps identify and address obstacles to successful transition, enabling individuals to say goodbye to lost relationships or roles and resolve any ‘unfinished business.’

How Life Transition Coaching Can Help in Specific Scenarios

Life transition coaching can be helpful in a number of scenarios and is a good fit for individuals having difficulty coping with changes in their life such as:

A. Loss of a Loved One

Navigate the intricate paths of grief and build a new, meaningful life with the aid of grief and loss coaching.

B. Divorce or Breakup

Manage the emotional turmoil and begin anew with tailored strategies and emotional support after a divorce or break-up.

C. Change in Health Status

Adjust to new limitations or routines with expert guidance and support.

D. Change in Family Role

Balance responsibilities and personal well-being even as caregiving or other roles shift.

E. Change in Work Role

Adapt to new daily structures and find renewed purpose and fulfillment with life transition coaching.

The Process of Life Transition Coaching

Embarking on the journey of life transition coaching is a pathway tailored to your unique needs and pace. In the delicate aftermath of a tumultuous life change, it often makes sense to meet more frequently, perhaps once or twice a week. This frequency allows you to grapple with the whirlwind of intense feelings, engage in crucial problem-solving, and implement self-care strategies to address immediate concerns after a difficult life transition.

As you begin to feel more grounded, gaining a semblance of stability, the sessions may be spaced apart, transitioning to maybe once or twice a month. This phase allows for a deeper exploration into understanding and making sense of the transition, finding meaning and purpose in a life reshaped by loss, and strategically looking toward the future.

Emotional Support for Loss and Transition

Embarking on the path of healing and adaptation does not have to be a solo journey. A life transition coach, like Dr. Jason Holland, is there to help you to feel understood, supported, and empowered every step of the way.

Ready to seek the support you deserve? Complete the Contact Us form on the website for a consultation, available both virtually worldwide and in-person in Gallatin, TN. Your path forward begins now.

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Life Coaching or Therapy: Which Is Right for You?

Here’s a relatable analogy: if you think of life coaching as your personal trainer guiding you towards achieving your fitness goals, therapy then resembles the rehab specialist helping you mend from an injury.

Life coaching is perfect for those looking to grow in specific areas of their lives. While they might face challenges, they’re generally stable emotionally and mentally. If the weight of your emotions makes even the simplest tasks feel monumental, or if hopelessness has become your unwanted companion, then a professional therapist or counselor is probably the right choice for you. However, if you’re managing the daily grind but want to hone skills, set clear goals, and maximize your potential, then life coaching with experts like Dr. Jason Holland, a respected Life Coach in Gallatin, Tennessee could be your ticket.

A Peek Behind the Curtain: Regulatory Differences

One critical distinction to note is the regulatory environment. In many countries, including the U.S., psychotherapy and counseling are more strictly regulated than life coaching. This stringent regulation ensures therapists have standardized qualifications.

However, the world of life coaching offers a vast tapestry of expertise, with professionals coming from diverse backgrounds. While this diversity can be an asset, it’s crucial to verify your life coach’s credentials, ensuring they’re equipped to guide you effectively. This becomes even more vital given the comparatively lax regulations surrounding life coaching.

Coaching vs. Therapy: Approach Matters

While both life coaches and therapists often specialize based on their expertise, their approach can differ. A therapist often dives deep into your psyche, helping unravel complex emotional knots spanning your past, present, and future. Life Transition Coaching, conversely, is more like a laser, often concentrating on the ‘here-and-now’—it’s about setting goals, addressing current challenges, and crafting actionable solutions.

The Insurance Quandary: A Thing or Two to Consider

Here’s the tricky bit: insurance. While therapy might be covered by your insurance, life coaching usually isn’t. And while using insurance for therapy seems appealing, it’s prudent to be aware of its pitfalls:

• Confidentiality Concerns: Seeking therapy via insurance could leave a paper trail that surfaces during federal background checks or other vital junctures.

• Mandatory Diagnosis: To have therapy covered by insurance, you must be diagnosed, even if inappropriate. This diagnosis sticks with you, etched in your permanent medical record.

• Restricted Treatment Choices: With insurance, it’s often not you or your therapist but the insurance company that calls the shots regarding your treatment frequency and duration.

Given these considerations, if freedom, confidentiality, and personalized treatment plans resonate with you, bypassing insurance and venturing into life coaching could be compelling.

Your Path Forward

While the differences between life coaching and therapy can appear nuanced, they’re crucial when you’re seeking the best guidance. Consider life coaching if you:

• Face significant challenges but are generally stable.
• Have specific goals in mind.
• Are willing to bypass insurance for greater freedom and confidentiality.

And with the option of Wellness Coaching Online, you can connect with Dr. Holland from anywhere in the world for your Life Transition Coaching needs.

On the flip side, therapy might be your best bet if you:

• Are deeply distressed by emotional or behavioral concerns.
• Find mental health challenges significantly disrupting your daily life.
• Must rely on health insurance to pay for sessions.

Life Transition Coaching with Dr. Jason Holland

If you’re navigating life’s shifting sands—be it loss, grief, career changes, or just the overarching ebb and flow of existence—reach out. Dr. Jason Holland, a seasoned Clinical Psychologist, offers specialized Life Transition Coaching and Wellness Coaching Online, ensuring you’re not only supported but truly empowered on your transformative journey. Whether you’re seeking a Life Coach in Gallatin, Tennessee, or anywhere else, Dr. Holland is ready to assist.

Why wait? Your future teems with possibilities. Connect with Dr. Holland today through our Contact Us form on the website, and set foot on a path paved with positive change. Your best self awaits.

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Grief Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Although the five stages of grief might be well-known, numerous studies, including my own, reveal that grief doesn’t always follow a set pattern. In my own research, many grieving individuals didn’t navigate through clear-cut stages. Their responses were deeply connected to the personal meanings they attributed to their loss. Those who could extract positive or benign meaning, be it through a religious context, personal growth angle, or another perspective, often faced fewer challenges in their grieving process.

Seeking Meaning after the Death of a Loved One

Finding meaning after the loss of someone close to us can be daunting. Pondering questions like “Why did this happen?” or “How do I picture a life without them?” is common. While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer, there are ways to spark new thoughts, emotions, and insights to aid in reframing the loss experience.

Navigating Grief with Supportive Exercises

Here are some recommended exercises to facilitate new understandings of a loss:

1. Documenting Your Experience: Journaling about a loss offers a variety of potential benefits. Expressing thoughts, feelings, and memories not only provides clarity but also offers a unique way to label emotions and discover connections. For instance, set aside some time to write about what happened, the most challenging moments, and your ways of coping with them. Reflect on the strategies that worked and how you currently perceive the loss.

2. Making Sense of the Loss: Explore your beliefs and perceptions surrounding the loss’s causes and context. Whether it’s influenced by environmental circumstances, a divine power, or personal convictions, reflecting on these beliefs about the loss can provide important insight. A useful exercise might be to journal about how the loss does and does not make sense to you, focusing on the extent to which it aligns with your beliefs about yourself, others, or the world in general.

3. Integrating Pre- and Post-Loss Identities: Following a significant loss, it’s common for individuals to feel disconnected from their previous selves. If this resonates with you, reflect on the changes and consistencies in your life journey before and after the loss. Identifying threads that tie these phases together, even the challenging ones, can help foster a coherent sense of personal identity. Consider: How does the “you before the loss” differ from the “you after the loss”? Which aspects of your personality have remained consistent? For instance, some might realize that identifying as “a survivor” or “a fighter” is a narrative theme present in their life both prior to and following a loss.

4. Engaging with Continuing Bonds: Even after the physical loss of a loved one, our relationship with them doesn’t simply end. Similar to our ties with those still with us, this relationship keeps evolving. We actively shape how this continued bond manifests. For a richer understanding, reflect on your loved one’s positive attributes, their ongoing influence on your worldview, and ways to integrate their legacy into everyday life. However, for those feeling a weight of “unfinished business” with the deceased, seeking grief and loss coaching could be beneficial.

5. Recognizing Growth: Consider ways you may have grown or experienced ‘blessings in disguise’ because of this challenging journey. It’s not about minimizing the pain but identifying any unexpected benefits or wisdom gleaned from the experience. Reflect on the constructive changes in your life, relationships, or personal goals after the loss. How has this experience reshaped your values and life’s purpose?

Emotional Support After Loss

If you or someone you know is navigating the grieving process, consider grief and loss coaching. As a professional offering life coaching after the death of a loved one, I’ve seen firsthand how emotional support after loss can be a powerful catalyst for growth and a renewed sense of purpose in life. Take the first step today. Complete a Contact Us form on the website to talk to Dr. Holland about how the two of you might walk this journey together.

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